What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize