If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
