I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
