I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
