Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I just forgot I was standing up.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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