I cockslap morals
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
