I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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