This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
