tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
