i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
