I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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