Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
