In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
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