I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
