I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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