How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You're like the curious george of whores
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
