That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
