i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
