Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
It's rum buckets o'clock
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
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