scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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