where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
pray to the hookup gods
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
