and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Dicks are not precious.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
