Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
His nipple licking is glorious
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