Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
