wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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