Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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