That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
