Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
