I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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