they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
