Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
