spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Dignity is for republicans.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
