Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
