she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Randomize
