i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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