so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
