well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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