They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
someone threw a dead crab at me
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
