i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
