you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
