I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
