Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
