you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
They are going to name an STD after you.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
