Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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