Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
