dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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