Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
