I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
found the other keg... it's in the tree
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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