I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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