We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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