he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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