508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
