pedialite and red bull = repair kit
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
