I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
