This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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