I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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