You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
