But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
