He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize