I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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