She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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