Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you traded sex for a burrito?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
